Friday, March 18, 2011

Robert Pattinson is Crocodile Dundee for Vanity Fair

Photo Credits

Robert Pattinson makes the cover of Vanity Fair's April issue and I must say I'm not impressed with this...How come Robert Pattinson's sexy rebel hair is trapped under this hideous hat? Even the alligator seems bored here...Is this because of Water for Elephants upcoming movie? Someone thought: "Lets put some wild animal here!". And then someone came with a cross between Crocodile Dundee and Pete Doherty, just because he's British too...But then again this photo is from Annie Leibovitz so I was expecting that crossing Robert Pattinson with Circus would be an orgasmic explosion of fantasy and delirium with some Cirque du Soleil at some point. (Ok, my mind just pictured all this. Give me a minute...) Apparently no. The interviewer (Nancy Jo Sales), however, succumbed easily to Robert Pattinson's charm. 
"A few months later in Baton Rouge, Pattinson says he doesn’t feel like going out, as there’s no telling when a simple trip to a restaurant might ignite another riot. “And I’ll just be like this,” he says, putting his head down on the table, hiding in the crook of his arm. He picks his head up again and—oh, wow. He can’t escape his looks any more than he can escape the attention of his fans. His face has a kind of gorgeousness one sees in the faces of children, with its perfect pale skin, red lips, large eyes. It’s hard to say it any other way: he’s beautiful.
But such superlatives are probably just the kind of thing that would make him cringe and sweat even more profusely than he’s doing now, through his light-blue cotton button-down. "
Oh, uau...Here comes the Twihard...Rob's shirt is already off in my mind. Continue,please. 
The interview took place while filming the last two parts of Twilight saga in a cozy rental house in a quiet residential section of Baton Rouge, shared by Robert and Kristen Stewart's assistants. I said Assistants people! And they were kind enough to make it all pretty pleasant for the interviewer Rob. So "they lit a crackling fire and scented candles to keep Pattinson comfortable while he does his interview."
Let's see how all this ambiance worked out:
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Pattinson says, returning to the table. Ever since he came back to the Twilight set, he says, he doesn’t feel—well, quite himself. “My brain doesn’t work anymore. I haven’t any memory. I can’t write. All I can do is sign my name. I tried to write the other day—it looked like I was writing in Braille.” I ask him to write something on my notepad; he does, and it’s illegible. “See?” he says. “It looks like spiders have written it.”
Robert, if your brain doesn't work anymore at the point of affecting your capability of writing it's simply because you are spending to much time trying to figure out Kristen Stewart (boy, am I gonna be HATED for this one). And I must break the news for you : spiders don't write. But I love how this interviewer tricked him to write something on her notebook and then maybe fantasize about what the hell those spiders wrote. Or sell it on eBay. Anyway, I think this interview was awesome and sincerely hope all of this ended with these two shagging on the carpet at the sound of crackling fire.

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