I don't even know where to begin. Let me just tell you that for all I could bare to see from the 83rd Academy awards hosts this year, they might as well have put Charlie Sheen hosting it and it would have been fenomenal...
So, at the point I left subject Charlie Sheen, he had fire breathing fists and he was shaking them in our faces like there was no tomorrow. Since then he was accused of being anti-semite after referring to the "Two and a Half Men" creator as Chaim Levine -- the Hebrew translation of Chuck Lorre's birth name, but he quickly hit back at the accusations:
"So you're telling me, anytime someone calls me Carlos Estevez, I can claim they are anti-Latino?"
I must say you actually have a point on this one, Charlie! But let's leave it at that, ok?
That's a No Can Do for Charlie Sheen. He just can't stop this delusional process and his longtime publicist Stan Rosenfield couldn't keep up with all this crap. So he quit, leaving him only kind and respectful words. Charlie Sheen's reaction did measure up to this:
“Pussy. He’s not allowed to quit, so you’re fired.”
Are you kidding me? UAU! Fire breathing fists! Fire breathing fists!
Our minds were not even over the Oscars Ceremony flop and Charlie Sheen was all over the news, threatening to sue CBS and giving interviews on morning shows at ABC and NBC. So let's skip Kadafi Libyan dictator for a second and embrace once more the awesomeness of Charlie Sheen's epic words on these interviews.
Sheen said that he's bored now with cocaine. But he said he "exposed people to magic" when they partied with him and that he loved doing drugs.
"What's not to love?" he said on ABC. "Especially when you see how I party. It was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards just look like droopy-eyed armless children."
More epic quotes from these interviews:
“I’m not angry, I’m passionate. It’s everybody thinks I should be begging for my job back, and I’m just going to forewarn them that it’s everybody else that’s going to be begging me for their job back.” (via Today)
“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitching a total fricking rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out; they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.” (via Today)
On his sobriety: “I’m on a drug. "It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." (via ABC)
On how he got sober: “I closed my eyes and made it so, with the power of my mind.” (via Today)
On being bi-polar: “What’s the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not gonna happen. I’m bi-winning. I win here. I win there.” (via ABC)
On being worried about death: “Dying’s for fools. There are certain blends I will not entertain because that’s how people go down.” (via ABC)
On his perceived violence: “I think my passion is misinterpreted as anger sometimes. And I don’t think people are ready for the message that I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of violent love.” (via Today)
On what he wants from CBS: “A big [apology]. While licking my feet.” (via Today)
OMG. This stuff is like watching Terminator. But I have a question. So... how about all the hores that gave you a b**wjob? Did their heads exploded?
He also said to TMZ he doesn't believe in "rock bottom", that this is just a fishing term.
I don't believe he hit that yet because I'm reading Spencer Pratt wants desperately to be his PR now. So let me sit back and enjoy a little more of this. Please Carlos Estevez, don't realize just yet that your ass is lying on the lower layer of earth's crust, 'cause I'm amused. I wonder if he is delusional enough to think he would, at his point, return to "Two and a half men"...
“I am a man of my word, so I will finish the TV show. I’ll even do season 10. But at this point, because of psychological distress, oh my God, it’s $3 mil an episode. […] That’s how I roll. Period, end. Defeat is not an option.” (via Today)
But, does he want a raise?!
“Well, yeah. Look what they put me through. […] I’m underpaid right now.” (via Today)
Carlos, let me tell you this "Charlie Sheen" drug has left you with two and a half neurons and they have now descended to your lower parts... and are side by side, with the half one in the middle.
So I'm just gonna stick with the wise words of Juan Carlos, King of Spain, had to Venezuelan President Hugo Chàvez, back in 2007, and hope you open your eyes before your head explodes too:
"¿Por qué no te callas?"