Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Lindsay Lohan will have time to develop her sixth sense...thinks she's in the clear now

Lindsay Lohan was at the Tonight Show after being sentenced to 120 days in jail and 480 hours of community service last Friday. I thought she was there to present her latest book: "How to dress to Court properly" but I was wrong. She was there to talk about something as real as this book I just came up with: her career... Outfit not a surprise. She wore a black blouse, probably reaching out for some sympathy among Jay Leno's audience. Yet she couldn't help herself to unbutton it 'till we had a glimpse of her boobs. (Don't get your hopes too high. You only see a little side boob. But  Jay Leno, on the other hand, must have had another perspective...)
With no surprise she gave it her best shot. She admited her "poor decisions in the past" and hit the crowd with her best climb up of the Rocky steps:
"I’m a fighter and I know that I have to work to gain the respect back. I’m willing to do the work that I have to do to follow through with being an actress."
clap, clap,clap! The Eye of the Tiger...
Could this work in America?? Hell yeaaah! She had a stand up ovation. WTF you people?? 
She revealed that learning about her sentence was shocking and left her a bit dumb numb. (she learned about it after 10 shots of tequila...):
"It was shocking. I was a bit numb.", said Lindsay.
And she will get even more numb as 120 of her total 480 hours of community service will be served at the L.A. County morgue. What a drop dead sentence wouldn't you say?...(bad, really bad this one). Will she "see dead people?" Rest. She won't be in the autopsy area. According to a source she will be emptying the trash, vacuuming and cleaning restrooms. If you're thinking she'll have a breakthrough moment while among dead people, you're probably wrong. This is her second "visit" to the morgue. Back in 2007 she was there to do the same for her DUI second conviction. So unless this 2nd experience is creepy enough to scare the sh** out of her, I don't think she will be touched by how fragile life is...
She described her jail experience as interesting and that it was "definitely a wake up call". After this call she assaulted a Betty Ford staffer and stole a necklace...
But who are we to say she's got issues? 
"...I’m in the clear now and I feel like as long as I stay focused then I will be able to achieve what I want to achieve.", said Lindsay.
Define in the clear Lindsay...
Well, it's not like she is such a delusional case as Charlie Sheen...
Just to make sure, Jay Leno asked her about where did she see herself in six years, when she reaches 30:
"Hopefully sitting here after I’ve won an Oscar"

Photo Credits

No comments:

Post a Comment

Follow toshstory on Twitter