Monday, February 28, 2011

Helena Bonham Carter is Made in England

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How boring would a red carpet be without Helena Bonham Carter? However, I must say that I'm becoming a bit bored of this Victorian look with a twist of the 80's she always seems to present us. It's like "Rock me Amadeus" video the minute she enters... But this time another detail is revealed. Could it be Helena always hid the flag of England under her thousand layers of dress? I wonder what she's hiding under the corset... Maybe Prince Charles portrait has a special place between her boobs...
I must say looking at this outfit she picked for the Oscars and with the Carnival coming up next week, don't even take it off and catch the next flight to Venice.

Quentin Tarantino was hit by the Paz de la Huerta effect

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I'm almost sure that at every Oscars After-Party the levels of ethanol are already so severe it is not even safe to light a cigarette... But this particular After Party gave access to Paz de La Huerta. Remembering she got denied entry at the Chateau Marmont Golden Globes after party due to being completely wasted, I'm taking a wild guess, this Vanity Fair after-party was the one where they all turn into vampires at some point... and start having wild random sex...So, where does the Great Quentin Tarantino enters this picture? It turns out he was leaving this party and...was opening the door to the limo to no other than Paz de la Huerta! And ... bam! Paz de La Huerta effect while he gets photographed by the paparazzi...Result: "Quentin Tarantino is wasted at Oscar after party..." I'm guessing he just succumbed to the beauty of whom he was leaving the party with...

If I was a man, I would  think that Paz de La Huerta is gorgeous if I was completely drunk and had a plastic bag to cover her head. So Quentin, you are sooooo wasted, man...

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OMG! She's a witch! Look at your eyes Tarantino!!

Paz: I'm not leaving! I'm still walking straight. I need a drink, Quentin...
        Quentin: Jesus... Is this the best I can get?...

Jennifer Lawrence gave a lot of men a "Winter's Boner" last night

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I know... I know...Bad jokes = Mondays. But this is not so bad, right? Even Ryan Seacrest had one while interviewing her...
Jennifer Lawrence was, no doubt, the ultimate Woman in Red at the 83rd Academy Awards last night. And there were hideous dresses, let me tell you... I must say there was a moment there when she was filmed waist up I almost could hear the drums from  Baywatch theme song starting and imagine David Hasselhoff  jumping to the red carpet, singing " I'll be there!..." , while Jennifer Lawrence walked by...
Anyway, seems to be unanimous  that Jennifer's performance in Winter's Bone is stunning, to say the least. Taking in consideration that we're talking about a character that is described as "An unflinching Ozark Mountain girl hacks through dangerous social terrain as she hunts down her drug-dealing father while trying to keep her family intact" and it's not played by Kristen Stewart, I say she must be a complete knockout! And who would have guessed that under all those coats and flannel shirts would be such a gorgeous beauty?

Friday, February 25, 2011

Charlie Sheen has fire breathing fists

As usual, a whirlwind of events take place when I cannot post. Damn! Damn! This time it's all about Charlie Sheen and I have to tell you...I'm amused and inspired. I actually just realized I laughed more in these couple of days with Charlie Sheen's comments than with the whole seasons of "Two and a Half Men"
Back to the last post, Charlie Sheen was trashing his TV show creator Chuck Lorre and, in a complete unexpected event...the show gets cancelled. Charlie Sheen continues to dazzle us with his now discovered poetic vein and, in a raged and impulsive gesture, he sent TMZ an open letter to Chuck Lorre and all his porn stars lovers fans:

What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows … I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.
Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…
Charlie Sheen

"Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…" WTF Charlie? Are you talking about Your hookers?
"...imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists" How high is this dude?

Too much coke in his brain must have made him regress to 1987 and be trapped in his Bud Fox character from Wall Street, making him act like he's on top of the world but he's not, really...And march the steps of justice? How about descend the ladder of decadence?...I say join all the porn stars you f***ed and you have your parade to support your two and a half neurons that are still working properly.

Charlie Sheen's Home Rehab Program really works...

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The Home Rehab Program Charlie Sheen imposed on himself  keeps showing amazing results. So, for a quick celebration, Charlie flew to the Bahamas with two women and ex-wife Brooke Muller, who apparently is following the same program and is already showing visible signs of incoherence and insanity... All this while Two and a Half men stood on a tightrope and everybody at CBS was trying to hold things together.
Charlie's behaviour must have been so sane that the moment Brooke Muller landed, she was on her way back. Maybe she missed a knife next to her throat or just missed her name in the press, even for the wrong reasons. Or she couldn't handle a foursome... I'm just taking a wild guess here...
Charlie Sheen adressed all this and more on the Alex Jones radio Show. And get ready for some major pearls:
About substance abuse being a desease:
"I have a disease?. Bulls**t! I cured it ... with my mind."
About Brooke Muller suddenly leaving the Bahamas recreational break:
"Goodbye Brooke. Good luck in your travels, you're going to need it, badly."
About ex- lovers selling their story to the press:
"These turds, these losers, there’s no reason to then bring them back into the fold because I have real fame, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night. And I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home. And they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. Bring me a frickin’ challenge. It just ain’t there."
(I actually tend to agree with part of this...but put this way is really poetic)

But all this was way before going down the hill and beginning to bite the hand that feeds him. He then proceeded  targeting his CBS Bosses:

“I was told if I went on the attack, they would cancel the show and all that and so I’m just sort of seeing if they’re telling the truth or not,”
“Are they happy with the $5 billion they already made off me or do they think they can turn it into $10 [billion] in a couple more seasons?”
“I’m just saying, you know [the show] is a runaway freakin’ juggernaut.”
He continued...

“Watch your ratings, dudes. Watch your stupid ratings.
“Do what you’ve gotta do — I’ll go make movies with superstars and not work with idiots” 

Not content, he slammed the show creator at TMZ, actually challenging him to a fight.

Can someone tell Charlie Sheen to check it's not 1985 anymore? That is character from Two and a half men was the perfect role for people not realizing that he actually can't act beyond that middle life crisis man that wears ugly (reeeealy ugly) shirts? What if these words just get you to lose your main resource for drugs and porn stars Charlie?
“Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of ‘Two and a Half Men’ for the remainder of the season”

Charlie, Charlie...

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lindsay Lohan wants you to see her inside beauty

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First of all: Excuse me, were her boobs this big? When did this happen?!
So, I guess she's back to normal, needing some publicity and a bra. Lindsay's boobs fight even gravity itself... Hate U! (not really...)
Wait a moment young lady! I think I know your plan... Look at all that jewelry... Look at that ring... But who's looking at them Lindsay? This is Brilliant
I'm reading she insists on going to trial, claiming she's innocent, about that necklace alleged theft.
In fact, I think she should wear this exact outfit to court and put nipple piercings with the letters F and U attached (meaning Fight the Universe...for innocence...of course). 

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Alex Pettyfer? Well, hello!

If you don't know who Alex Pettyfer is by these days you should probably check your Hottometer, because it's going to explode any minute now and you'd better be prepared. So I'm thinking where the hell was this guy? So I googled him and I realized he's the boy from Eragon and he's... 20. T.w.e.n.t.y...
We were all seeing Lady Gaga's Cocoon walk the red carpet and the real metamorphosis was happening here. Pic up your shoes Robert Pattinson! You're outta here! 
So, Alex Pettyfer is not playing with dragons anymore. He has two movies coming out. I'm number four and Beastly. This one with Vanessa Hudgens (so...broke up with Zac Efron exacly when? Hum?...)
What do you think? Hot or not?

Kim, Khloe Kardashian and the obsession for animal print

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Now, I've read somewhere The Kardashians made 65 million dollars last year, so I'm not laughing anymore about what they actually do to make that kind of money. Taking in mind that every time Kim's ass appears on this blog it's like a friggin' Xmas pageviews, I'll take my chances with Khloe's ass this time, with Kim on the side, just in case... I'm not even going to put the question"Who wears it better?" here because Khloe's stylist should be fired over this one. And apparently the KK sisters were of any help either. Or maybe Khloe just wouldn't listen. Because I have to tell you Khloe this outfit is not even on Snooki Jersey Shore level. When I saw this I thought Olivia from Jerseylicious was on my screen...Oh, by the way, this was an NBA celebrity All-Star Game. Perfect to wear this. See- through included.

As for Kim, she looked great at the Official NBA All-Star after party. Apparently she's still keeping the fantasy she actually is in love with...what's his name? Oh, yeah, Kim Kardashian's boyfriend. Because if she is, she'll be the exception to the rule "once you go black, you never come back."  

Ok, it's like I can hear the roar of all Kim's fans: Who's this total b**ch? Victoria Who? Looser!
So let me pull a Ted Casablanca here:
"Oh! There's more!" (Ok, I actually like Kim Kardashian...You keep my blog alive. Aliiiive!)

Kim: "I make 65 million dollars just posing like a wax figure. Look at me. Frozen."

Photographers: "Ass, Kim! Ass!"

Kim: "Ah! Ah! Ah! You're so funny! I think I love you 'cause I'm 30 now and everything makes sense to me...What's your name again?"

Guy: Sorry, please step away from the picture...
Khloe: Why can't I be in the picture? Am I not hot? I'm wearing a brown version of Kim's dress. I'm a Kardashian! My ass is big too!
Guy: Please step away.

Rihanna keeps teasing us

Rihanna was the main attraction at the NBA All- Star Game, February 20th. Maybe because it was her birthday also, she gave an 11 minutes spectacular performance that revisited "Umbrella" and included  hits as"Only girl"and "Rude Boy", where she decided that rude was grabbing her ...
Then came puppy eyes Drake (still begging Rihanna for some attention) with  "What's my name". Still time for some Kayne West, who took the stage by the sound of trumpets (argh...), not to complain about something but to actually sing... 

Judging by the number of rappers/singers that count on Rihanna's little help to put their chins above the water, the only person here with some balls is actually Rihanna... You go girl!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Rihanna did the WAKA WAKA dance at the Grammy Awards

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Don't you just want to jump to the stage? Are you even reading this or are you thinking "Is that Rihanna's boob? Omg! Is it?" I don't know but this is some powerfull pic, isn't it? It caught my eye completely.
She was performing the hit song "What's my name", with Drake, at the Grammy Awards and did some serious "Shakira" moves.
So, Drake, Rihanna is no grenade (using the wise words of Mike "The Situation"), although she seems to be ready to throw one...
Wasn't Drake dating Nicki Minaj? Or married to? Maybe Minaj is no grenade but it certainly looked like a jungle grenade exploded all over her. She looked like an "African Jungle Queen" Cruella de Vil.

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Huh... I'm scared...
Back to Rihanna!
Let's see how Drake felt during this performance:

At the very end of the performance, Drake disappears... Sources say he was seen rushing to the men's room... 
Mike "The Situation" is still waiting for Rihanna's phone call. Still waiting to see what happens...

Here's the video. U na na na! You're gonna like this...a lot.

Justin Bieber looks thrilled to win at the Brit Awards 2011

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Justin Bieber did not hide his frustration for not winning a Grammy Award this year. But at the Brit Awards, Justin Bieber's fans took no chances and certainly held a deadly weapon to the throat of who decided in the "International Breakthrough Act" category, 'cause he won. 
So, why the lost puppy look? Maybe he's thinking: 
"What kind of award is this? Is this a pepper mill, a doll?" 
"Did I loose my Grammy to a Pepper Mill?.. And who the hell is Esperanza Spalding? I hate America..."
Even Avril Lavigne seem confused!

The "Pepper Mill"

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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Rihanna asked "The Situation" to see his six pack. Made him blush!

Rihanna, Rihanna... Tsc, tsc...
Rihanna's outfit at the Grammy Awards made every guest lift their eyes up and down, wondering if they've just seen a nipple or you know what. It was quite disturbing and made some necks turn to their limit. Only to discover that she was actually wearing panties... Aww...Disappointing!
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who was playing red carpet reporter for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno",was no exception and when Rihanna called him so he could show her his famous six pack, he was so upset that he couldn't do it. So he crawled back to red carpet with his neck twisted and completely blushed...His walk was also quite affected by the unexpected event...
He later talked about the encounter:
"She's no grenade, We'll have to see what happens."
I tell you what happens Mike... N.o.t.h.i.n.g!

Irina Shayk is the cover girl for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2011

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The Russian beauty who's Cristiano Ronaldo's girlfriend only knew she made the cover at the "The David Letterman show".
No chance for anyone to even take a glance that article about "Kate the Great"!
In fact, if Irina Shayk skeezes a little more, Kate the Great will fly off the cover ...

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I can only imagine the phylosophical conversations Irina Shayk has with boyfriend soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo...
Here's the official presentation of Irina Shayk as the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2011. Enjoy!

Kim Kardashian's ass almost didn't make it to the Grammy Awards

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Now wouldn't this be a tragedy? But it almost was because Kim's golden dress didn't seem to fit in the golden measures of her whole butt! When interviewed by Ryan Seacrest, at the red carpet, she revealed:
"I had the biggest fashion emergency!” 
“I took it to another tailor and they tailored it to where my whole butt wouldn’t fit in it. I was freaking out and said that if I didn’t have a dress, I wouldn’t go."

“The designers were amazing and they came in and met me and redid the whole thing.
She recently talked about how turning 30 made her embrace her curvy looks:

“I never knew to embrace curves”
“I looked at my aunt and cousins and saw these Armenian women with big butts and boobs, and I didn’t really realize how attractive it actually was then. Your perspective grows.”
And, boy, did it grow!

Sean Combs aka P. Diddy or Puff Daddy, or whatever, was caught catching up with Kim. He's probably thinking:
 " Here I am, once again, 11 years later: Grammy Awards - insane cleavage - huge butt - not JLo"
"I rule. Period."
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I think she actually looks pretty good. Pretty damn hot, actually. I bet Jennifer Lopez is thinking: "Nobody can sparkle more than me! Damn you KK!"
And that bracelet. I wanna rip it off with my teeth and take it home...

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