Michael "The Situation" is in Italy and already on top...of the situation

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The Jersey Shore cast is already in Florence, Italy, filming season 4 and moving behind them a considerable entourage, judging by the first images. While Snooki has already found a little pony to ride, Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino has no time to waste in Italian lands. So here he is with the "Dirty Italian: Everyday slang" in his hands, showing us he can actually read beyond condom instructions, a useful guide that according to the author teaches the reader how to swear, curse and most important how to get down and dirty in Italian. In other words, it teaches the Jersey Shore cast to be what they already are...but in Italian. 

According to Amazon, Dirty Italian teaches the casual expressions heard every day on the streets of Italy. And right next to "Come va?" (What's up) is this one:

Wanna do it doggy-style?
Lo facciamo alla pecorina?

...heard every day on the streets of Italy? Really?...Come on...

No doubt this might be of precious use to "The Situation"...

As for Snooki and JWoww  all they need to learn is "Sono Sbronza" (I'm totally wasted...)

Look at the hysterical fan in the back! "Is it Snooki? OMG! OMG!"

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Guess who probably will show his abs to Snow White?...As the Huntsman?...

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Uuuuhhhhaaaaa!!

Ok, let's face it. Why would 99% of women go see a Marvel character movie with their geek boyfriends or husbands? Of course. For the adventure, special effects, blah, blah... No. I'm sorry to be the one to break the news here: It was for six major reasons, also known all together as six-pack, presented by Mr. Thor himself when he goes shirtless. Oh. I know you all heard "Let's go darling, I can't wait to see Natalie Portman again. I loved her on Black Swan!" Nope. Chris Hemworth's Six pack. 

So some enlightened head (probably female) thought: If there's going to be two movies about Snow White, being one of them with Armie Hammer as Prince Charming we have got to step it up a little. So let's put Chris Hemworth playing the Huntsman in Snow white and the Huntsman.

Snow White is going to be lost with the Huntsman for a little while in the woods. Might as well never make it to Prince Charming. Is there even gonna be a Prince Charming on this one? This is going to be awesome. So why am I not beaming with joy?? Because Miss Snow White is going to be played by Kristen Stewart. Being KStew a school drop out and making a continuous point about how school wasn't really important to her I can at least expect she's finally learning to count until six by caressing gently the Huntsman's six-pack, while lost in the woods.  Damn you! Damn youuuuuuuu! 

These boots are made for walking...

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...and that's just what they'll do 

one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you...

I wonder how Gaga would interpret Nancy Sinatra's song?...

Well, I doubt Gaga can walk properly with these boots but she keeps proving us otherwise.

I must say Judas song didn't bring me much enthusiasm. Yet I'm writing this and in me head a little voice sings "Juda - juda -a - as ... Juda - juda -a - as..."

And what about her latest, Edge of Glory? Meh...It does sound a little Kelly Clarkson-ish to me... 

Judas video was such a mess that even Catholic Church lost itself in what was controversial or not and just quit. I must say a Mary Magdalene between boyfriends Jesus and Judas (who is here the leader of a biker gang), rocking in a club named Electro Church does push a little bit hard the boundaries of Catholic Church patience. I'm sure some "catholic"eyebrows started to tremble a little on this one. But the scene with the lipstick sticking out of the gun probably made some heads explode. Don't get me wrong, I love Lady Gaga. But is she losing it?

Guess who?...

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I've just realized it's been a while since I post something about Kim Kardashian. So here she is in Mexico, catching a break from her 25 hour working day (pfffffff...) with her boyfriend, whose name I wouldn't even know if it wasn't for the fact his name also starts with a k (that probably was his boarding pass to this crazy family) and it's actually her mother's name...That must work really well during sex... Kris, Kris! Argh....

I must say I'm always as impressed as you guys about her anatomy. I look amazed about the wonders God worked with this Armenian butt...But I must say she looks pretty good (to say the least...) in all the 300 bikinis she wears...in one day. Like Hayden Panettiere, this pics make me wonder...how does this work exactly with these two? Humm, I'm sure she'll work something out, won't she?...

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Is Robert Pattinson waiting for the elephant's review of WFE movie?

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On the Water for Elephants premiere in Sidney, Australia, Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon had the company of an elephant. Probably a female because she even shed a tear of emotion for Robert... Awh!... She also gave her review of the movie...

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Still the Met Gala: did Rachel Zoe do this to Demi?

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Rachel Zoe is one busy woman. Between bottles and diapers, no time to style Demi Moore, apparently. Rachel probably sneezed on the phone to her assistant some word that sounded like feathers. Feathers,feathers,feathers. Demi looks thrilled...

Was the Met's Costume Institute Gala a Brides Parade?

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Yes, I suppose!

So, this was a couple of days ago, yet, given the level of fugness I thought I shouldn't let it pass by.

Fergie clearly thought she was there for the renewal of her vows. I know. It's a Marchesaaaaaa. Rachel Zoe would kill for a Marchesaaaaaa. Yet this is hideous for this occasion. Her husband is also to blame. How about saying: "Are you sure about this, honey?!" 

Miranda Kerr is as hot as a mom can be. We get it. Now she's into Black Swan apparently, showing with a Marchesa gown (oh, what a surprise). If I could only reach her to rip that damn tulle out....

I take a lesson from this, people: NEVER wear a Marchesa white dress, unless it's your own wedding.

Naomi Campbell was a scary bride. The hair, the makeup. Hugh... I know she's in an Alexander McQueen but, for the love of God, it's like she going to smash your head with her cellphone any minute now. Run!

Serena Williams also gave it a try. This time in an Oscar de la Renta. She thought the feathers wouldn't do enough fug so she added the lovely flower hat. Lovely.